A warm front. Yup. I’m really looking forward to a niiiiice blast of pacific air. Because, you know why? Because it was -27 degrees with the windchill factor today and it has been snowing non-stop for 2 and a half days and I am really freaking tired of the color white.
It makes me want to sell my wedding dress on ebay… oh wait, I already did that. It makes me want to paint my bathtub brown and my toilet orange and put green food coloring in my white vinegar. It makes me want to cover my windows with butcher paper and paint full color beach scenes and green farm scenes, complete with stick figures wearing bathing suits and overalls (respectively) to go in those pictures. I wish I could take a rainbow pack of Sharpies and completely colorize my Mac laptop until the markers are crusty dry and there is not a speck of white left on the unit.
I am considering looking up the cat in the hat in the yellow pages because I’ve heard that when he comes back he turns snow pink. I would kindly ask him to leave Cats A-Z at home so as to not clean up the pink that he spreads on the snow.
Anyways, perhaps you are getting the idea. I am really, really, really tired of winter. So I am (not so) patiently waiting for the warm front to arrive. It’s supposed to be hot and sweaty -1 degree Celsius (or is it degrees… when you say something is in the negatives is it plural?) on Wednesday, then cold again and then warm up again to a balmy +5 on Saturday. I think I’m going to pull the old bikini out of moth balls and do a bit of sun bathing, if I can manage to shovel a space for myself in the snow.
You know what makes all this whiteness even worse? My husband loves it. He jumps up and down and rejoices like a child who is about to meet Chuck E. Cheese himself when the weatherman forecasts snow. He then intermittently steps out of his office, paces the room and looks at the sky. When the weather man is wrong he mopes and grumbles about how he’s been gyped. When it does snow he gets gleeful and comes out of his office every 45 minutes just to look out the window and say something incredibly unpredictable like, “It’s really comin’ down now” or “Would you look at those flakes?” or “Look how pillowy it is. It’s the most perfect thing in the world.” Nevermind that we are severely lacking in vitamin D and are about as white as snow bunnies ourselves due to the lack of sun exposure. It does make the burden of winter a little harder to bear when I live with someone who giddily dances when he sees the evil white stuff descending upon us. Ah well… I still love him. Even if he does side with my enemy, Snow.