Nan's Totally Random Talking Points…

I can’t seem to form a single cohesive thought lately.  Seriously.  My head seems to have its synapses into about a hundred different things.

Get back here you vagrant, wandering, delinquent synapses!  You are all getting spankings and being sent to bed with no supper.  That will teach you to step out of line again like that!

  • Synapses put in their place and told where to get off.  CHECK!

So instead of try to make any kind of cohesive sense or post about just one unified topic I am going to throw a bunch of random stuff at you.  This is the Lunchbox after all.  And every once in a while didn’t your mom try to clean out her fridge by way of your lunchbox when you were a kid?  I mean, didn’t you ever get some strange leftover that really had no place in a lunchbox?  That’s what’s about to happen right here today my friends.  You’ve been warned.

So the first thing amongst my talking points today is this…

  • I have a strange bump on my hand that moves around under my skin when I bend my middle, ring and pinky fingers.

It looks and feels really gross and reminds me of Grandpa’s game of Herkimer.  (By the way, remind me to tell you about Herkimer.  If  I don’t your curiosity is bound to drive you to the edge of insanity and you will end up twitching at the eyebrows when you brush your teeth one night out of nowhere, wondering what a Herkimer is and if you might have one.)  My doctor today told me it was a tendon nodule, not too uncommon apparently and might just go away on its own.  That and the pain and numbness I’ve been having in my wrist/hand is tendonitis.  If Mr. Strangebump doesn’t go away on his own, I’ll maybe have to consult a plastic surgeon.  Do you think if I’m there for my hand,  the doctor might be able to just haphazardly, and completely by accident of course, remove some of these pesky stretch marks?  What a wonderful mistake that would be.

Okay, point two.

  • There is a horrible odor emanating from my dog right now.

I’m sorry to tell you that.  It wasn’t really on my list but this is sort of a stream of consciousness blog entry and since I can’t escape the odor, why should you?  He has only eaten dog food.  Why this awful stench?  What did I do to deserve this?  Dog ownership has its perils.  So that was point two.

Point three…

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I have never been a country music fan.  But over the past couple of years I have come to have a real appreciation for Bluegrass, Cape Breton style music and have always loved Irish folk music.  There is to me a huge difference between the sound and style of your typical country western music and Bluegrass.  Bluegrass is musically intricate and… I don’t know… just more poetic.  So I’ve been on this Alison Krauss kick lately.  What can I say?  I love her voice.  It’s like butta.  It’s beautiful.  It’s whistful and enchanting and takes me out of myself.  And I don’t know why but I can totally stomach the twanginess that happens in Bluegrass even though its less refined cousin, C & W, still tends to give me the heeby jeebies.

Point four…

  • I don’t know what to make for dinner.  (Sometimes it’s fun to bold one word for no apparent reason.)

I have been uninspired a lot lately.  Do you go through periods of inspiration and uninspiration in (see what I mean about random bolding being fun?) the kitchen?  (Not to be confused with perspiration and nonperspiration in the kitchen…. let’s try to not talk about perspiration if we can at all avoid it okay?  Thanks.)  Sometimes I get all gourmet and buy all fresh for weeks or months and then I’m all gourmeted and freshed out and end up feeding my family meals like this.  And you really can’t get much worse than that.

Point five…

  • I bought a swimsuit and a swim cap today.

Because I like swimming.  And I don’t like to get my hair wet when it’s freezing outside. And I need exercise.  And I don’t like exercise.  But I like swimming.  And I have bad knees.  And swimming is nice to bad knees.  And everything I just typed for the past 103 (estimated) characters has been in an unwieldy and grammatically sinful fashion.  I’m sorry.  I repent at the feet of Strunk & White.

Here’s a swimsuit like the one I bought.  Mine doesn’t have the zipper and looks like a regular racing bathing suit on top.

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I like it because I’m not a huge fan of thighs in general.  Anyone with me?  I mean, thighs are great for utilitarian reasons but otherwise I’m just not a big fan.

Point 6….

  • My kids are learning about anatomy this year.

We decided to get a whole bunch of videos on human anatomy at Standard Deviants.  I  think I remember the narrator’s voice from videos I watched in high school.   They also have a new friend to help them learn in a more hands on way.

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I got him on Ebay.  His name is Fred.  I don’t know why his name is Fred but that’s what they named him.  Last night we lost Fred’s intestines and we had lots of fun telling the children that they had to find the intestines before they could do anything else.  I later found the intestines under the couch.  I then left the intestines on the dryer when I went to unload it.  Fred is standing here before me, disemboweled, the poor fellow.  I promise I’ll bring his intestines up right after I finish writing this disheveled sorry excuse for a post.

So there you have it.  My totally random talking points.  I’m sorry if I made you want to vomit.  Or cry.  Or both.  I do try to keep that to a minimum usually.

Better go.  Accidental point 7 is that…

  • I now smell a horrendous odor emanating from my baby.

Which leads promptly to accidental point number 8 which is…

  • I have been changing poopy diapers for 8 1/2 years straight with no breaks.  I’m sort of getting bitter.

Point nine is…

  • Bye.

Oh and I totally forgot to put this but I was going to put it first and then got sidetracked so now it’s point ten…

  • I voted today!  Yay!

Hooray for absentee ballots.   Hooray for voting.  Hooray for voting even if you don’t like your options.  Hooray for trying to avoid bad reasons for choosing a candidate.

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12 Comments

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  1. Love the swimsuit! I’m with you on the thigh business – I just wish I could get thigh coverage and and underwire on top – then I’d have the perfect suit. You’ve given me hope though!

  2. Ugh! I totally agree! In the absence of those two factors together I had to opt for thigh coverage. The thigh bulge was just unacceptable!

  3. Does the swim cap really keep your head dry?
    Fred is cute 🙂
    I’ve got you beat on the diapers … but at least Izzy (at six) does go #2 in the toidy now. That’s a relief. Buying size 6 diapers isn’t so much fun!

    annie’s last blog post..I’ve been tagged… you are now tagged too!

  4. You have an award over at my place. Swing by when you get a chance
    http://www.thepost-itplace.com

  5. I’m right there with you on diapers…10 + years and still going LOL!

    Julie’s last blog post..Some GREAT upcoming FREE FAMILY EVENTS!!!

  6. HILARIOUS! And at least you had a veggie with your “yellow” meal…

  7. OH god how much do I love this post – you’ve just described in perfect detail how my brain functions on a regular basis – except you’re at least able to organise your thoughts into point form. Oh the bump thing – I wouldn’t worry, my brother (read geeky java programmer who lives in front of his computer) got two of those on one hand. Yes they went away NSR, no surgery required 🙂

    Ness’s last blog post..I have a Weakness for Cool Fun Office Objects

  8. I love this post! You are so witty and cute!! And it put a smile on my face and a giggle on my lips. Yay!

    Elyse’s last blog post..Amazing poster

  9. Hi Nan. Danielle’s husband here. If you like Alison Kraus AND Irish Folk music (I do both too!) Check out this video of Alison Kraus singing an old Irish Folk song called “Molly Ban”. It’s a very sad song about a girl named molly. Google the lyrics if you’d like to see the full story of her. very sad stuff. Alison is singing the song with Irish folk music legends, The Chieftains.

    One reason you might like bluegrass AND Irish folk is because the people who settled in the Ozark regions and started what we now call bluegrass were mostly immigrants from Ireland/Scotland/England. Bluegrass’ roots are deep in irish music. By the way, I’m a music teacher.

    Changing diapers for 6 years and counting. many more to go…

    Danielle & Jeff’s last blog post..HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!!!!

  10. It’s been 12 1/2 years nonstop for me. I think the youngest is ALMOST done potty training.

    I tried to get the surgeon to help me out stretch mark-wise when I had my gall bladder out. No go.

    Jana’s last blog post..My Precious

  11. LOVE that song. LOVE IT. We have several albums of the Chieftains. Big fans. I’m somewhat familiar with the origin of Bluegrass and how it relates to Irish folk music but I’m sure you could give me a real education on the topic.

    Maybe you’ll have to guest blog here about some of your favorite folk musicians and styles and give us a history lesson in it too. :^D

  12. I LOVE Alison Krauss! I have for a long time! These random things were pretty fun to read!

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