Designer dog breeds are of course all the rage. I mean, who hasn’t heard of the Puggle or the Yorkipoo, the Goldendoodle or the Labradoodle? Chances are, your neighbour has one. Our neighbour has one. She’s a Goldendoodle with the sweetest personality. She’s adorable. We ourselves for a short while had a small dog that was a Bichon Shih Tzu Yorkie. Telling people that mouthful of a name got hard after a while when they would ask us what kind of dog she was. So like most owners or breeders of mix breed dogs we thought it would be more fun and easier to shorten her title to something more pronouncable. So we shortened it to Bishizorky. Okay, so when people asked we still went to all the trouble of saying all of the donor breeds to her bloodline. But can I confess something to you?
Coming up with mix breed dog names has become something of a hobby of mine. Sort of like how I enjoy calling non-denominational churches (from which I hail) where a whole stew of denominations are represented things like Methopresbapterian or Episcobaptian Free or Cathonazabaptelical or maybe even Evangorthodethodist. It can become a bit of a tongue twister though and since, very sadly, denominations have split so many times over the last 2,000 years, it’s harder to come up with good church names than it is mixed dog breed names. But that’s another subject for another time.
So I have come up with a couple of dog breed mixes that I think you should know about. Some of them purposefully exist of course and some of them… accidentally exist and some of them should never exist if there is any shred of decency left in the world.
You’ve heard of the Schnoodle probably. In real life they look something like this…
But whenever I hear the name, I think of something more like this…
The Puggle is of course an adorable mix breed. Since I am always contemplating what kind of dog to get next (because that’s just how I am… I’m not rushing Bruce on to the big kennel in the sky or anything… just thinking ahead is all) I have at times contemplated a Puggle. They are adorable.
But have you considered the Ceagle? (not to be confused with Kegal. Please no. Dear me… do not confuse the two.)
Yes, folks, a Ceagle is a Cairn Terrier Beagle. I know you want one for Christmas. Admit it. If they had the movie 101 Ceagles you wouldn’t start doing invisible exercises… no. You would start scanning the classifieds because they are just so darn cute, aren’t they? Yes, they are.
So I have thought up another one… The German Schnitzel. It’s a German Shepherd Schnauzer Indian Spitz mix. Can you picture it? Mmm…. I can.
Or what about the Schnauzer Dachsund mix? It would of course be called the Schneiner (pr. Schneener). Or the Weimeraner Dachsund? It would be named the Weimereiner.
However, and I must tell you this one I did not make up… I have seen it… in my own neighbourhood…. While the image I am about to share with you is merely a composite… the real thing is very, very, very real… and very disturbing because the only name I can come up with for it is….
The Golden Weiner.
I’m not kidding. I apologize now if you were just sipping your coffee and now your computer is ruined. This should be a lesson to you. I don’t know what the lesson is but I’m sure there’s some sort of lesson to be learned here.
There are so many accidental mix dog breeds that should never have happened. Worse still is that there are several non-accidental mix dog breeds that should never have happened. Not all of them are bad, mind you… Anything ending in OODLE is probably going to be a great dog for example. I’m really not against mix breeds. But don’t you think the pound would be able to give away more of their dogs to loving homes if they gave all of the mutts designer dog breed names like Mastiffoodle , Great Dachusndane, Labrollie or Toy Huskatriever?
And how could I leave out the Bassadoodle? I don’t know how I could leave him out, but I did. If this were my dog I’d name him Mr. T Circa 2040.
Oh, and there is one other mix dog breed that I think could be really, really successful and eventually even maybe make for itself a cozy place in the American Kennel Club. I can’t see why it wouldn’t…
It is of course The…………………………………………………………………………………Scoobydoodle!
**Disclaimer – I’m sorry if I insulted your dog. And thank you for indulging me in this moment of unfruitful insanity. Carry on with your lives citizens.