Wherein Nan Expounds on Scent Options in the Deodorant Realm and The Evil that is Baby Powder Scented Products That Aren't Actually Baby Powder

Why, oh why, do these lotion and armpit deodorant people all think that we women want the smell of our faces and armpits to remind us of diaper changing time? WHY? I am always trying new face lotions. But if they smell like baby powder and evoke images of tiny (or not so tiny as the case may be for mothers of toddlers) bottoms, well… I’m sorry, I’m not going to rub that stuff on my face because… just no. No thank you. Do I need a grand explanation?

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You may disagree with me. Perhaps the smell of baby powder evokes the sweetest of memories of the best most sleep deprived time of your life when every part of you throbbed with the pains and pleasures of motherhood and when you took delight in every one of the 9 or 10 diaper changes you would perform in any given 24 hour period, each one punctuated with an aromatic ploof of Johnson’s & Johnson’s Baby Powder. I’d be lying if I told you that some of those weren’t indeed the sweetest times… I’d also be lying if I told you that I personally used that much baby powder on my childrens’ hinies. Because I didn’t. Even then I found the smell to be displeasing. But like it or not, the smell, for me, is associated with Tiny Hinies. And tiny hinies are just not the images I want being olfactorily conjured up whenever I walk into a room or perform my morning or nightly ablusions.

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I have discovered that Nivea is highly guilty of this reprehensible “woman must smell like a baby’s bottom” fallacy. I just cannot ever buy Nivea again. My Grandma always used Ponds. I’d try that but internet searches reveal that Ponds too is guilty of making women smell like tiny hinies. I am sorry, any product that screams “diaper changing time” is going to be ever and always off of my list of products to buy again and shall henceforth be tossed aside like so many used Luvs or Huggies.

Having said all that, one does have to moisturize. Especially if one lives in a parched northern wilderness where moisture does not thrive well in a porous containment system like the human bod, but rather is sucked from already dessicated dermises into the thirsty firmament. So I seek a superior facial moisturizing cream that doesn’t cost more than say, the whole family eating at a fast food dining establishment. Right now I am using Garniér but it clearly has too high a water content. I need to find the perfect balance of moisture and decent scent and price. Is there such a thing?

So lately I’ve started wearing this crazy deodorant whose scent, while not of tiny hinies, is of a questionable nature as well. It’s Secret Chai Vanilla Latté. You may ask why exactly I don’t want my pits smelling like freshly powdered baby bottoms but I don’t quite as much mind them smelling like hot overpriced specialty beverages topped with whipped cream (Lord help me, I think I need to hit Starbucks right now.) And for that, my friends, I have no acceptable answer. It makes very little sense I’m quite sure. But the fact is, Chai Vanilla Lattés evoke happy thoughts of relaxation and sweet warm yummy goodness… not that I want you thinking that if you are ever in the vicinity of my armpits which I really hope you never have the occasion to be. Suffice it to say, baby diapers do not evoke such nice thoughts. There’s the rub. I once read of someone who was so disturbed with her armpits smelling like pudding from said café style deodorant that she immediately went back to using the much less culinary men’s deodorant she had been using. But I just can’t do that. I might not want to smell like a baby bottom and I might find it odd to have café scented pits but I don’t want to smell like a man either. Ideally, I just want to not smell bad but some of the alternatives aren’t much better.

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  1. LOL I love your thinking! Baby powder scented products awaken the same memories of cleaning baby butts. I have often wondered why it is that my dear husband wants me to buy and wear powder scented deoderant. I refuse to do it. However, the same goes with anything vanilla scented. He loves it and I cant stand it.

    And you’re right, the alternatives are not that pleasing either.

    Allie’s last blog post..Show and Tell Tuesday: Jewelry Gallery

  2. You are so great, do you know that?! I love when you write like this! You are cracking me up! I don’t know what I am putting on my face lately. I think my deod does smell like baby powder, but I can’t tell because I have so much cocoa butter on my stretching belly, that I just smell like one big chocolate bar. Which also induces fellings of hunger. I bet one of those Vanilla Latte Products would really match well. But then I would just gain more weight by simply smelling myself!
    Oh well.

    Danielle & Jeff’s last blog post..“Kevin-isms” Part III

  3. I have never understood the baby powder smelling deodorant. You’ve made some good and extremely funny points. I just use unscented deodorant. As for face moisturizer I think that Burt’s Bees has some stuff that smells unlike diaper duty. I like that the baby stuff doesn’t smell like baby powder. It’s really nice to have baby/kid wash that doesn’t smell like baby behind, sour apple or cotton candy.

    ruth’s last blog post..I’m done

  4. I remember that cologne, Love’s Baby Soft. It was baby powder perfume. One facial lotion that I have really liked is Dove. They have lots of different products in the lotion department and if you sign up with their online stuff, you get freebies and coupons and there’s no baby powder or latte smell 🙂

    Christina’s last blog post..Snow Day

  5. You guys make me laugh! :^D And you make me happy because you have proven that you don’t abandon me when I abandon my blog for several days with no explanation. There really is no explanation except that I had not much to say and that I’ve been on an organizational kick which has resulted in the house being temporarily much less organized than when I started the kick. It has to get worse before it gets better though right?

    I should do a before and after post sometime about the whole thing… but the fact is, I don’t have a before picture of the main room in question, the big boys’ room, because it was too awful. The site of it would have probably broken your glasses or caused you to have double vision and painful stomach cramping. And I like you too much to do that to you. I will probably just do a before and after post leaving off the Before part, still calling it a Before & After post though because “After” just doesn’t carry as much weight as it does when preceded by “Before &.”

  6. Great blog Nan! I agree that the baby powder scent has to go…I literally want to vomit sometimes when I walk into the locker room at the gym and that’s all I smell. I haven’t worn the baby powder scented deodorant since I was 13.

    Colleen’s last blog post..Atlantis Marine World Aquarium

  7. I’m Not too sure about the whole baby powder smell thing but really its smell like a baby’s bottom or smell like some form of food.What great choices we woman have.

    Islandgirl’s last blog post..Simple Womans Daybook

  8. Oh, Nan… This has been one long week for me – illness in the house, a birthday to make special in the midst of it, very little sleep, and an emotional outburst from a normally lovely teen…….. My eyes are ready to close for a long time…. but I checked your site on my way to bed and had the biggest giggle I’ve had in a LONG TIME! Thank you for making me laugh. Can’t tell you how much I needed that tonight. I think I just giggled all (or most) of my stress away… Now, I will sleep with a smile on my face, and if my dear husband asks why I am still giggling in my sleep, I’ll just send him here to read your blog. You are wonderfully funny!

  9. This is so funny! I even look for baby products for my BABY that don’t smell like baby powder. Just so tired of that smell.

    I use Dove on my face, too, and it doesn’t smell like baby ‘hinies’. I have another lotion I leave next to my bed that I used to put on my hands when I went to sleep. It smells like brownies!! Can’t use it anymore–brownies at bedtime, not good for the diet!

  10. Laughing my tail off here *grin*

    I never did like the smell of baby powder – now, on the other hand, I think I could be content smelling of vanilla latte! (I’d never had a starbucks anything until we moved here because there wasn’t one back home – and I’m a bit in love with it.)

    I don’t know exactly where in northern Canada you are, but I’m in the DRY DRY north as well and what a difference from back east in terms of skin trying to dry out and leave. Blah. Doesn’t seem to matter what I use.

    Molytail’s last blog post..One year later…..

  11. So funny and so true, I had never thought of that before! I like Aveeno moisturizer – no smell and it feels great!

    Tabitha (From Single to Married)’s last blog post..Getting Pregnant: The Time Is Nigh At Hand

  12. I look for unscented myself, but my 8th grader who looooves all things scented and has no qualms about mixing 5 different scents with her lotion/deodorant/body spray/hair spray/perfume is a big fan of the chai deodorant. 🙂

  13. That came out wrong. I don’t mean to imply that you smell like an 8th grader or that the chai is an unpleasant scent. I like it – by itself.
    My daughter goes to school smelling like a Juicy Couture wearing baby eating fruit salad in a coffee house.

    I am sure you exercise more self-restraint than that.

  14. oh dear. I use Nivea and I don’t think it smells like baby powder.

    Pamela’s last blog post..Hearing Things

  15. LOL Nan, this post was a riot! I don’t get the obsession with baby powdered scent products either. I don’t get it, I don’t like it. And, strangely, I’m intrigued by your chai latte fragrance. Though, I’m still hung up on your first photo…Demeter..their Sex on the Beach..oh.my.goodness! That’s some sweet stuff!!

    Tara’s last blog post..Hallo!

  16. you make me laugh, nan.
    i miss you!
    C

  17. Hilarious. And you’d think that someone could come up with something that wasn’t toxic either. I got tired of being stinky by 10:00 a.m. and went back to wearing a very little conventional antiperspirant after only using deoderant for a long time. I have found this fun face wash and moisturizer at Target, by Avalon Organics, but it is fruity-orange to be exact. I like it though. I don’t think this comment makes much sense, but that about sums up my existence at the moment and probably for the next month or so. I’m glad to “hear” you again!

    Christina’s last blog post..You Say,”Potato”

  18. I so agree, Nan! I hate how everything is scented! I’m very sensitive to perfumes, and sometimes the baby powder scent is the least offending though I do dislike it greatly. I can’t have something flowery because that usually makes me sneeze. (Real flowers do not do this.) I can’t have something too sweet smelling because it makes me nauseous. All these vanilla things out there are too too sweet. If I have to have something scented, I prefer fruit smells. I usually buy green apple or citrus smoothie Suave shampoo because those are scents I actually like and the unscented things do have a scent of their own.

    My current irritation is the Burt’s Bees facial moisturizer I bought. It cost more than the Oil of Olay I was buying, but it was supposed to be more natural and healthy and all that. The box gave me no indication that it was going to have such a perfumey smell. I don’t know what it is, but it’s something floral. It makes me want to sneeze, but I hate to throw it out because it cost $15 for this little jar. (Isn’t that awful? I’m so cheap.) I think I will see if Aveeno has any facial moisturizers. It’s the lotion that seems to work the best for the rest of my skin and it smells only mildly of oats which is not a bad smell at all.

    Jenni in KS’s last blog post..O Pioneers! – A Review

  19. Oh Jenni, I totally agree about Burt’s Bees… I think they really are all natural and I LOVE their chapstick. But their hand salve smells like a gigantic pile of soggy eucalyptus pods/acorns. And I mean that in the bad way. And I know what I’m talking about because I’m from California, land of the Eucalyptus tree! Also I bought a super powerful hand cream from them because what I said about this being one of the driest places on earth as far as I’m concerned is true, and it’s supposed to be almondy okay… fine. It smells like a mix between a jar of maraschino cherries and an entire bottle of almond extract dumped on your carpet and allowed to soak there for several weeks. Seriously. It almost makes me faint it’s so bad. But I’m like you and I’m using it anyways because of the price. And thankfully the smell dissipates fairly quickly. I just wish these makers of all things natural realized that those of us who like all natural things are more likely going to prefer scent free or very lightly scented. There are a lot of smells I can handle in light doses.

  20. This was a hilarious post. Thanks for the laugh. I have to be careful about using scented products. A lot of them make me break out in hives.

  21. Great and funny post! Just be sure to stay away from the anti-perspirants that contain aluminum. BAD! Very, very bad!

    Moobee Ma’s last blog post..meanwhile…back at the farm…

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