Why?

Why is trusting God so hard? It’s not like He didn’t create the world or sustain it for the past several thousand years. It’s not like He hasn’t orchestrated every moment in History to most shine forth His glory in the face of human evil. It’s not like He hasn’t done much lately. Why is it so hard to trust Him still? Oh Me of Little Faith!

Why is trusting God my Savior so hard?  It’s not like He is silent.  It’s not like He doesn’t speak.  It’s not as if He didn’t send His Son into the world to fly in the face of everything the “righteous” thought a savior should be.  It’s not like they didn’t kill Him for it. It’s not as if His saints didn’t sit around despairing at their shattered hopes only to See their risen savior appear before them just a few days after they watched Him expire while nailed to a hideous chunk of wood.  It’s not as if He didn’t love them despite their unbelief.  Why is it so hard to trust Him still?  Oh, Me of Little Faith!

Why is trusting God my Creator so hard?  It’s not as if He threw everything out there into space or blew a bit of ashes out of His hand and hoped it would end up as a perfect blue ball suitable for housing and feeding humans, plants and animals while spinning in a perfectly arranged planetary system.  It’s not as if He just hoped it would all work out.  It’s not as if He doesn’t know what’s next.  Why is it so hard to trust Him still?  Oh, Me of Little Faith!

Why is trusting God, the lover of my soul, so hard?  It’s not as if He has spurned my advances.  It’s not as if He has played hard to get. It’s not as if He has never sought me and bought me and laid himself down for me.  It’s not as if He hasn’t called us His Bride and died to make us Holy.  It’s not like He has any greater desire than to love and to be loved and worshipped.  It’s not as if He doesn’t rejoice over us with singing and quiet us with His love.  It’s not as if He isn’t tender and compassionate and abounding in love and mercy.  It’s not as if He doesn’t take back the wandering whore that we are.  It’s not like He rejects the wayward wife that we are.  It’s not as if He treats us as we deserve.  It’s not like He would divorce us for our proven and repetitive infidelities.  It’s not as if He hasn’t bound Himself to us despite our wantonness. It’s not as if He isn’t constantly washing us with the water of the word.  Why is it so hard to trust Him still?  Oh, Me of Little Faith!

“I believe!  Help me in my unbelief!”

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7 Comments

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  1. Great post, Nan – love it!!! 🙂

  2. Because WE don’t know what’s going to happen and that makes us uncomfortable. We who make the decisions, we who tell the little people what to do, we who make the plans and execute them, we who keep the calendar, we who “run” the house (and/or the office). Not knowing doesn’t seem like it ought to be an option. But God challenges us where we need it so that we can be strengthened, so we can learn to trust, so we can learn we don’t have to be the ones driving the bus because ultimately we aren’t. All of these things sanctify us so we might serve Him better. If we always knew the answer, if everything was always easy, why would we need to trust Him for provision? “I waited patiently on the Lord and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.” Ps.40:1-2 Sometimes we have to be “stuck” first, then He lifts us to safety. We are never out of His care; He has not lost sight of you. He will bring you through this and you will be stronger. Be directed by Him and not by your own desires. Be content where you are (physically) and don’t hold on to where you want to be. You’re right where God wants you to be, my friend. How can you serve Him there? Many hugs! Miss you. Praying for you.

  3. You have written so honestly and beautifully what my heart cries out so often. Sometimes it is easier. Sometimes it is harder…isn’t it wonderful that we have the examples that we do, those who had little faith that were made stronger. I pray that yours will, indeed, be made greater, sustained daily by the One who has given it to you in the first place. (Me, too. 🙂 )

  4. I cry out similarly, Nan, having buried my sister yesterday. God once again, uses you as a vessel for his messages. /hugs

  5. Hi Nancy,

    I just read on your “About Me” page that you’re a wife of a Reformed pastor and that you’ve lived in San Leandro. Well, I was delighted to read that because I’m also a Reformed Presbyterian and currently live in San Leandro! If you still live around here, which church do you currently attend? I don’t know too many Reformed folks (especially Reformed Christian ladies) around here, and thought how Providential that I came across your blog. It’s really neat that we share a few similar interests, too…I love Period films (adaptations of Jane Austen and the Classics). 🙂

    I’ve enjoyed browsing through your blog. I have one also (though I haven’t posted much recently) and you’re most welcome to visit it anytime. I’ve named it “A Pilgrim’s Progress” (after the puritan John Bunyan’s classic): http://pilgrimsprogress.net

    If you’re still around the Bay Area, it’ll be so nice to get acquainted with you. Have a wonderful day of worship this Lord’s Day!

    Resting in His joy,
    Jessica

    Jessica S.’s last blog post..Small Update

  6. I know I already posted but I stumbled upon this, which seems to sum it up.

    It is good to be needy because we have a Savior who loves to bestow comfort in affliction, joy in suffering, and help for the helpless. If we never had need, would we have an idea of His matchless grace?

    -Nancy Wilson in her Femina blog

  7. I find it easier to believe for someone else.
    So, maybe its because I don’t think I’m worthy

    Pamela’s last blog post..A Most Memorable Present.

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