I just found this old post in my unpublished folder of post-drafts. Funny how passionate I was about this. And how much I wanted to get across the whole listhp thing. Haha!
The Fruit People Are Out to Get Us
I just know it. The fruit people and Home Depot. They don’t like mothers. They hate our guts. I’m guessing someone in the fruit industry came up with this genius idea, “Hey, a duh… a duhh… let’sth put sthtickersth on sthe frootsth. Okay? Causth everyone likesth sthtickersth right? Plusth we want to make exthtra work for momsth.”
Home Depot is just as bad. Their back door greeters hand my kids like 7 stickers each whenever we go out their door. My kids then stick them all over their bodies and car windows. One of them stuck one on his head that I had to literally scrub off with the aide of some sort of industrial solvent. And still these people look at me like I’m cruel because I don’t want them plastering my kids with stickers anymore whenever we go to Home Depot. There are probably still sticker circles with all sorts of residue accumulating on them on the back windows of the Suburban. I haven’t taken my putty knife back there recently.
Stickers on Foreheads and car windows aside, seriously, why do we need stickers on all our fruits? We know what fruit we are buying! If we really cared what country it came from we would buy local organic. Right? I really think they just put those stickers on the fruits to drive me crazy because everywhere I look in my house I find little fruit stickers (which I realize is far better than finding candy wrappers). Either they are wadded up in little balls and stuck like Velcro to the carpet, unable to be sucked up by even the mighty Dyson, or they are hermetically sealed to the linoleum. I’ve decided to leave some of them there as an experiment to see how long before they disintegrate. Hey, don’t knock it. It’s science.